Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Box Office: ‘Lilo & Stitch’ Flies to $610 Million Globally, ‘Mission: Impossible 8’ and ‘Sinners’ Hit $350 Million Milestone - Variety

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Is it okay to pay 12,000 SEK for rent 67m² furnished house for 2 people in Jönköping, Sweden? It also includes electricity, internet, heating, and water expenses.

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can read

What are the challenges associated with the birth narratives of Jesus?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why are people outraged over Latina actress, Rachel Zegler, being cast to play Snow White in the live action remake of Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Trump is shot, tackled by SS agents, yet then stands, defiant, with fist high, and 52 hours later, walks into the Republican Convention to thunderous applause. Is there anything that can stop this man, who loves his country? Does he get your vote?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Chime, last valued at $25B, aims for $11B in upcoming IPO - TechCrunch

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What would Spanish sound like if only latin and Greek words were used, like some romance analogy to anglish?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Protests erupt after Massachusetts high school student detained by ICE - ABC News

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Hillary thinks we must censor or "we lose total control". Why does she demand total control?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

"It Seems Like Science Fiction”: Researchers Unleash Breakthrough Tracking Technology Using Environmental DNA - The Debrief

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Is the water safe to drink in England like here in America or is it necessary to bring tablets to prevent any cholera when in London?

I can count

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why do many Hong Kong Chinese look different from the Han Chinese in mainland China?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Over 7 million Americans are unemployed — the most since 2017. Why it won’t get better anytime soon. - MarketWatch

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y